私は日本にいきますよ

I'm going to Japan tomorrow. :)

Hella excited. 

I'm about 85% done packing my stuff, still wondering if I should bring more clothes. Hahahaha. Ohh, and I'll be celebrating my birthday there. How awesome is that?! 

I hope I don't gain too much weight when I go there. Hahahahha.

Long Time No See

HELLO GUYS, 
I know I haven't been updating this blog lately. 

 So many things happened but I'm too lazy to write all of them into this post. Lazy Roushan is really lazy. 

May:

• Got myself an undated planner because I decided that I need to get my life sorted out.

Bought this planner from Typo because their planners are really pretty and they are just what I needed. :) Like look at it, it's a different theme/design every month and there's also monthly + weekly planner so you're neat and organised through and through. How wonderful is that. Thy best planner I've ever had so far: 

• ES Society Sub-Committee Selections
• Rotaract Camp 2015

I was a GL for this camp and although I wasn't all that hyped up (because I was sick throughout the camp. -.-), it was still enjoyable nevertheless and I even got to make new friends. WoohOOOOO. 

Captain Americaaaaa. We painted our cheeks with the logo for Capt A.

 My face was really red because I was ill.

She's Syafiqah, a fellow GL of the same group and we get along so well because we have so much in common. I'm really glad and thankful we met. :]

• Helping out for Graduation

I had to get a white button down shirt and also a black pencil skirt. Ugh. And, I had to spray my hair black. So much effort just for 2 CCA points. On the bright side, I get to skip lessons. Hehehe.

• Singapore Shooting Cup

My first ever shooting competition and also my last because I am no longer in Shooting. Oops. Anyway, it was a really unique experience being a competitive shooter and I'm so proud of myself for not being in the last place. AHahah. Now what am I gonna do with the remaining pellets since I didn't renew my shooting membership with SAFRA.

• A*STAR Scholarship Interview

I screwed up. It was horrible. I was late for the interview and it didn't last long. There wasn't much to talk about. There's practically no hope for me. Bought myself SmoothieKing afterwards to cheer myself up a little.

June:

• Start of Part-time Job

Yes, I'm currently working and studying at the same time. Reason: I needed more cash to support myself. This part time job is beginning to tire me out because the working hours are from 6.30pm-12am and by the time I reached home, it's already 1am. I've still gotta bathe and get ready for school tmr and so I only got to sleep at 2. Morning classes begin at 8, which means I need to wake up at 6, which equates to 4 hours of sleep. How did you even survive, Roushan. The only thing that is motivating me to keep this part-time job is the pay. 

• Term Break (2 weeks)

I was supposed to have shooting camp during the first week but it was cancelled because there wasn't enough sign-ups. -.- 

• Common Test Week

Common tests were pushed back because of SEA games and so we had our break first. Some of the papers were killer papers, especially CRAY and Thermodynamics. And I didn't do well for Thermo. Sighhhhh. Guess who is gonna study their ass off the day before Thermo exam.

• Start of IS (Hon Hon French)

My IS (Interdisciplinary Studies) starts this term and it's Basic Conversational French (BCF). So far, it's really interesting. Both the history/culture and also the language. I'm glad I got this IS module. Ehehe.

July: (I know, it ain't over yet. But, all well, it's coming to an end anyway)

• Movie Night

The first ever movie night by the ES Society and it's pretty successful! Yayyyyy.

The movie was Kingsmen and it was hilarious. We even made popcorn for the night. I hope the following movie nights will be just as enjoyable or even better. 

• Dates with Shu Fei (Bae)

We went to eat Sushi Express @ NEX on a Tuesday after my IS and our stomachs are filled with salmon when we finished. Hahahaha. It's good and only for $1.50. Hell yeah, baby. 

Haven't had such good sushi in a while. Although we both had the oyster sushi each which tasted really horrible, it was full of the fishy taste. Didn't know why I thought it was a good sushi to give it a try. Anyway, after that we went to shop around NEX for a bit before rushing back to Bishan Library due to an emergency. Exhilarating. 

A few days later, we met up @ AMK Typo in search for quote book and planner because bae needed them. She ended up getting the same planner as me. HAhahaha. I have good taste. And I ended up getting a really pretty foolscap book with a cheetah + galaxy-ish background as the cover page. It's only $3. A good buy indeed.

• SG50 Promotions

Don't know why, but there's a lot of SG50 promotions this month. Well, better for me. Hahahha. There's $1 sushi @ umisushi every Thursday and free ice-cream topping every Wednesday @ KOI. AWESOMEEEE. 

• BIGBANG concert

OMG. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT THAT CONCERT WAS. IT'S AMAZING. I WAS FANGIRLING ALL THE WAY OVER TOP AND GD.

TOP IS FREAKING HANDSOME. TAEYANG IS FULL OF CHARISMA. GD IS A HEAVENLY MIX OF CUTENESS AND SWAG. SEUNGRI AND DAESUNG ARE JUST SO HILARIOUS. 

Okay, that's it for now. I find the time to update again!

Solitude is bliss

23 Things Only People Who Love Spending Time Alone Will Understand

With Heart & Voice

Did you go for AMKSB concert on the 25th March? If you didn't, then it's your loss because I was part of the alumni band that contributed 2 amazing songs to the concert~

 Ahahaha. I'm kidding, it was an amazing concert nevertheless. And I got another Esplanade pass! Woohoo!

Anyway, picture pictures.

 It was their birthday that day and we bought them an Elsa ice cream cake!

The alumni band played With Heart & Voice and AKB48 Medley and sadly, I screwed up my part for WHAV. Damn, we had such few practices too. Anyway, it's over and I'm not sure if I'll be going back for alumni practices anymore because Mr Brando Tan is leaving the band (that's what he always says but oh well). Also, I'm considering joining NP Band partially because I really miss band and also because I'm hungry for CCA points. Hmmmmmm.

Peel banana, peel peel banana

Hi, this is another overdue post. Oops. Ahahaa.

So, I went for a job as a camp instructor. Sounds awesome right? 

I know. I found this job from Gumtree and without thinking twice, I applied for it. Because c'mon, getting paid to be a camp instructor is just so god damn awesome. It's almost as if paying you to have fun, since camps are meant to be fun, just that you have to wake up really early for punctuality sake. But other than that, it can't get very far off from enjoyable, right? 

Anyway, there were a couple of options of schools to choose from and I chose the one closer to my house for obvious reasons and I was super hyped for it. As this job offer was really last minute, I didn't manage to attend any pre-camp briefing nor did I undergo any facilitators-training-camps and I just went for it. From what I know, some of the facilitators couldn't make it and they were finding replacements asap. After I applied for it, I was added to this Whatsapp group with all the camp facilitators and instructors where they would share the information and questions. Even though I was really psyched for it, I was also pretty nervous because I've never been a GL before nor have I led any groups in camps, thus resulting in  very high chances of me not doing a good job. Nevertheless, I wanted to have a go at it. We had an online conference the day before the camp to just make sure everyone is clear on what they are supposed to do and what not. 

On the day itself, we arrived 30 minutes earlier for some preparation & briefing. It's also the first time I've met any of the facilitators, also the camp chief-in-charge (CIC) and assistant camp chief-in-charge (AIC). And guess what, I am told to take off my earring because it's inappropriate and wear a cap to hide my brightly-coloured hair. What a way to start the day, right? But ultimately, it's still a secondary school and rules are rules. 
The first day of the camp wasn't really smooth-sailing for me, so are the rest of the camp days. We had to get our groups to do some goal setting, get the group name & cheer before heading for tea break. My kids weren't really cooperative, but that's understandable because they're all from different classes and the camp purpose of this camp is to help them to bond which would be why I'm there. However, there are just some troublemakers who just refuse to be with the group and just really uncooperative in general. And it's always the boys. But anyway, we managed to get our goal settings done and somewhat our group name & cheer too (as I kept on rushing them), yet some of the other groups didn't. This, I felt a little bit better about myself. 

This is one of the goals set by the kids

After lunch was multi-group captain's ball and I must say, my group did fairly well, although we didn't win the game, we came in the top few. After that, lunch & team building games. That would include:

But we only did:

• Everybody Stand
• Swaying Grass
• Everybody Sit
• Human Entanglement

The location: Indoor Sports Hall, where all the other groups will also be there and thus the noise level would go up a few thousand times which is a disadvantage to me because my voice is naturally very soft. Also, since I didn't attend the pcb, I have no idea how to conduct these activities with the kids eg. separate in groups of 2 or separate the group into 2; increase the difficulty level for the games such as closing your eyes or have certain handicaps. It was a nightmare for me because the kids couldn't hear me and I couldn't control them and I don't know what to do. Fuck. At that moment, the hall was filled with noise and all the other instructors were busy with their own groups, thus I couldn't seek help from any of them. I was at such a loss. 
Thankfully, Keely, who was in-charge of logistics and wasn't a group instructor and have went for the pcb with lots of other camp experience, came to my rescue. She helped me control the rowdy kids, carried on the game with order, set everything right and I felt like crying because I seriously have no idea what else to do. Tears did welled up but I wouldn't and shouldn't cry infront of my kids, so I held it in and thanked her with much gratitude. She is an angel. When we're done with the team building games, it's debrief time which means we have to emphasize on the importance of teamwork and communication, and also give them time to fill up their reflections. That's about it for day 1.

Took this while the CIC was giving a debrief to all the kids. Ehehehe.

After the kids went home, we had a debrief among all the facilitators with the camp chiefs. Shared how we felt, some difficulties we faced, how we overcame them and lastly, a briefing for day 2.

For day 2, it'll be held at Sentosa where we'll have amazing race and our beach challenge. Assembled at school as usual for a briefing of the events to follow, after that, we proceeded to lead our groups to the chartered buses and leave for Sentosa. To be honest, I'm extremely nervous for day 2 because I'm not familiar with Sentosa at all as I've only been there less than 5 times and it was only to the beach, nowhere else. I mean, who goes to Sentosa and explore the whole island, the main attraction there is the beach right. Fortunately, teachers will be following us around so that would lessen our chances of getting lost at Sentosa. Ahahaha. When we reached Sentosa, we had a little problem because the drop off point is different for all the buses, some of the drivers weren't clear where to drop us and what's more, we had a wheel-chaired kid on our bus so the teachers didn't want us to walk for long, which I think is stupid because he is on a wheel chair for god sake, he isn't gonna walk. Anyway, the driver dropped us at the coach bus waiting area which is where all the drivers are supposed to drop us and we walked to the Pavillion for our beach challenge. This challenge includes assembling and dismantling a tent plus other team building games. I've never built a tent before, nor did some of the other instructors but we're to give a demo on how to build the tent blindfolded. Although we did try it out yesterday during the debrief, I just stood there and observe the steps. Surprisingly, it's not as difficult as it seems. Yayyy!!

Proceeding on with the beach challenge, my group did well assembling the tent, doing their new group cheer, completing the games and also dismantling the tent. Only one problem, they were supposed to take out their extra shirt and have it act as a blindfold but some of them didn't wanna do it and thus created a lot of problems and wasted time in between. Other than that, I think my group did better than yesterday. :)

Next is the amazing race. Our CIC gave all the teams one map of Sentosa and we're left to our own devices. I gave them the list of tasks that they can complete to earn up as much points as possible and let them plan out their ideal route. Our first task is to act out a silent movie, pretending that you're on a rollercoaster at any escalator in Sentosa. Thus, we went to search for the nearest escalator and when we reached, some of them enthusiastically went down the escalator while the others are left upstairs wandering around. I followed them down the escalator and told them to ride it back up to see the teacher wearing a grumpy face. He called me out to talk to me about controlling the kids, gathering them together first before doing anything and said I needed help with that. (Yes, indeed, I do.)

After that, he went on to give the kids a scolding about being so divided as a group and they all went silent. But, life goes on, so I carried on explaining the task to them and told them to discuss among themselves how they wanna do it. In order to gain bonus points, they should try to make it humorous/funny enough to make me laugh, which they failed miserably. Anyway, we head towards our second task which is to plan an advertisement for 7-11 and act it out. Furthermore, it must be applauded by a passerby without any form of prompting in order to succeed. Sounds like a challenge huh. We took the monorail from Beach station to Imbiah station (originally we planned to complete another task there but found out conveniently there's a 7-11 store right outside the station, so why not). I filmed their not-very-enthusiastic advertisement and I could almost hear the crows squawking in the background after they finished. Like it's all monotone and very scripted. Well, after all, they are only sec 1 kids so the AIC who was conveniently passing by decided to clap for them. Moving on to the next task, find out how tall the Merlion is and take a picture with the whole group standing in a straight line mimicking it. This was an easy one so, next up, it's finding the tallest tiger in Sentosa (Tiger Sky Tower. I didn't know such tower existed.) and form the name of their school with their bodies. Had a little trouble here but all is good with the teacher spoonfeeding them and telling each of them what to do instead of letting them take charge and complete the task by themselves. 

He's a teacher, what can I do. We were told to only prompt them and let them take the initiative to lead the group to complete the task. Our first priority is to let them learn about teamwork and also take on some leadership, the tasks can wait but apparently someone is a spoilsport and wanna go home asap. 
Anyway, our next task, counting the number of steps for both towers at the Southernmost Point of Continental Asia. We met up with Hilda's group and coincidentally they were also heading to the same place. So, we took the same tram to get to our destination but since both of us weren't familiar with Sentosa, we were in a bit of crisis because we didn't quite know where to stop. Thankfully for the mandatory tourist explanation for every stop the tram makes, we got off t the right one! Woohoo. For once the explanation comes in handy. We crossed the very shaky bridge to get to the two towers on that small island and went back again at godspeed to head off to our last task. My kids were hella fast on their feet when faced with another team. I was pleasantly surprised. The last task was to cheer on the sidelines of the volleyball court there and since there were no one playing volleyball, I made them do their group cheer instead and I felt a gush of satisfaction all over me. That was my highlight of the day, or even of the whole camp. After which, we gathered back at the Pavillion and started heading off group by group to the bus waiting area to return back to school. 
As usual, debriefs were given to the students by instructors and camp chiefs alike, emphasizing on the same old thing but this time, I praised them for the excellent teamwork displayed.

Thereafter, it was time for debrief for us, instructors. However, I didn't quite have a pleasant time from then onwards and it'll take me ages to type it all out so let's just say I got some negative feedback from the teachers and it sucks. I tried my best and I did see improvement from my kids but it just seemed that my best is not even good enough. Then, negative thought just started consuming me at a rapid rate and bad memories from the past isn't helping much. 

This was basically how I felt, maybe much worse.

Anywayyyyy, I'm better now, so let's move onto day 3. There's nothing much on Day 3 except for the mascot challenge. They are given newspaper, hula hoop, trash bags and other logistics to dress one of their group members up and the mascots are to do a short showcase of themselves afterwards. 

 Yes, this is my group.

Some other groups used the hula hoop as a shield, I think that's really clever. Hahaha. After the mascot challenge came to an end, we debriefed them as usual and I took some group photos even though my phone's camera sucks.

Thanks for the amazing experience you guys provided me for this camp. And it was really heartening seeing all of you bond with each other, exchanging contacts even with the guys and taking selfies together although you are all from different classes. I hope you guys will continue to keep in touch with each other even after camp and most importantly, I hope you guy enjoyed yourselves. 
I know I may not be a good instructor and may have deprived you guys from a much more delightful camp experience should someone who is more proactive replace me, but I wanna let you know that I've did my best and also stepped out of my comfort zone to take charge to be your group's instructor, so I just hope y'all will forgive me. 
Anyhow, after we collected the feedback and evaluation forms, the instructors, AIC & CIC head downstairs to the canteen to have a debrief regarding the camp as a whole.

Also, I wanna thank all the instructors because you guys were really friendly and nice to a newbie like me. Whenever I have any doubts of the activities, y'all will always help me and answer my queries to the best you could. Without you guys, this camp wouldn't even be a quarter as entertaining and pleasant as it would be, so, thank you for everything. 

Although this is my first camp as a GI, I hope this wouldn't be my last. And what I've learned is that what people see is only their perception of us, what really matters is what you've done in order to achieve your goal, that you've put in the effort to change yourself when you set your mind to it. Don't let others' high expectations crush you. If you're able to achieve the goals set by yourself which requires you step out of your comfort zone or it's something to change yourself for the better and you're doing your best, you're a fucking champion.

Differences

-This post was meant to be posted a week ago but wasn't because of my procrastination-
So, Jing Yi, Joel, Ke Wei and me went over to Yub's house to have lunch because he just has too much food to spare. And it's a really pretty house, with a nice balcony and all, you know. It feels like an average household at first. Okay, maybe above average because of the undeniably wonderful balcony. But anyway, the lunch was Korean style and I was really not used to eating them, although I had gone for his Korean-styled BBQ once before. It's just so different from the usual Chinese food I take and the way to consume is also different, and there are so many side dishes for you to add on to your wrap. 

Their way of eating was to first take a piece of lettuce/cabbage/any veggie that is able to wrap, then put the meat and all the other side dishes that you want, wrap it up, and then put it in your mouth. Whereas the Chinese way is to take the food that you want, put it in your bowl and eat it with your rice. I've been doing it the Chinese way 98% of my life so far, so just eating the plain ingredients without the rice feels weird to me, not saying that it doesn't taste delicious though! 
After we're done with lunch, it's time for drinks and Yub started naming like 12 different kinds of teas for us to choose. For example, if you said green tea, do you want the Japanese kind or the Chinese kind. Or, if you said earl grey tea, do you want it normal or with blue flowers. And mind you, it's not the kind of tea that you can make from tea bags, it's brewed from actual tea leaves. 

Also, if you said coffee, do you want it drip-style or espresso machine-style or some other kind of ways to make coffee. I don't know why but all this choices made me very frustrated and I ended up just going with Hot Chocolate because what could ever go wrong with that right? 
Man, was I wrong.
It was no normal Hot Chocolate, and by normal I meant those Cadbury Instant Hot Chocolate. That Hot Chocolate was made by I don't know how but I saw some microwaving, and he said there's like real melted chocolate in there, with vanilla and milk and other stuffs which I've forgotten, and it tasted weird to me. I totally wasn't expecting Hot Chocolate to taste so different and while my mind was still processing this new flavour, Joel said there's even people who would add cinnamon into Hot Chocolates. Like, what?! CINNAMON?!

THIS?!

It's not even at the level of cultural differences anymore, it has upgraded to lifestyle difference. I felt like a pumpkin compared to them. They would easily be honeydew or any high-class fruits whereas I'm just here, waiting to be used once in a year for Halloween. 
Everything felt really foreign to me, as if I wasn't visiting a friend's house anymore but more of an exchange to get to know the host's culture. They have their very own liquor cabinet with vodka and etc while the most my parents would get us were jolly sandy or every once in a while, champagne, and here we have people who mixed alcohol into their coffee. 

The host already knows how to make mojitos and I was just there getting free food. The host probably has more than 12 different kinds of tea to serve the guests and the only tea my house supplies is Lipton Tea and none of my family members even drinks tea. We would just serve our guests can drinks from the fridge or instant coffee for my grandpa. Who has the time and effort to go through all that trouble for just a drink? I mean, plain water tastes good too, right? Not being stingy but it's probably just the way I was brought up. For example, people go to places like Takashimaya or ION orchard with their families but do you know where my family and I go to? 
MUSTAFA. 

24 hours non-stop shopping, cheap snacks, second hand goods. That place is like a paradise for me and my family. Everything there is unbelievably cheap compared to other places in Singapore. 
Anyway, the gap is there and I can't overcome it, because that would take a lot of time & effort and I don't really wanna change who I am either. However, all that really matters is that I had a great time and my friends are awesome, open-minded people.