Stop it.

I'm not a traitor or a betrayer. Even if I may seem like that because I changed my job but I'm definitely not capable of doing such things. I don't have the guts to do such things. Also, I didn't change my job for a higher pay. It's not that I didn't want them, they didn't want me. Yes, I may sound really pathetic and you will most possibly pity/sympathize me but it's much better than being accused of being a traitor. I hate it when people just accuse me without hearing the full story. And also people who assume/expect me to know a lot of things just because I've worked at the shop beside. I mean, hello, Japanese snacks and Western food are two totally different things. You can't just lump them together and compare them. 
I am soft-spoken and shy, and sometimes I don't speak up for myself and I just keep it in. I know myself too well. My time alone was well spent pondering about my life, my personality, how others think of me, my weight and a lot of other random things. I want to change myself and I'm trying. If you don't see any progress, then please wait some more, I've only just started. I need courage to step out. I need lots of practice to familarise myself with new situations. I need time to change. I'm not super, I'm just Rou Shan, a super ordinary and normal girl. 

Start anew.

Soooooo, I was kinda fired from my previous job because they had more than enough staffs after closing down one of their outlets. Even though I was mentally prepared for it, I still broke down. Well, actually the boss said that I don't have to work there anymore but they might need me to help out during events such as food fair and kept on comforting me. Sighpie. But anyway, I got a new job which is just beside my previous stall. Hahahaha. And today was the first day of work there. It was really tiring and fast-paced. I couldn't keep up with the pace there, I prefer doing things at my own speed. I think I mentioned this before I prefer to do things at my pace and familarise myself with it. It takes time to learn how to make burgers quickly and at the same time delicious too okay. It's not like I'm not a superwoman who can learn and ace everything within a day. Even though I worked at the stall beside doesn't mean I'm superb. I'm actually pretty lazy but all well, I shouldn't be lazing around while working. I need to learn how to work under pressure too. I seriously need to step out of my comfort zone. I'm been pampered too much. I believe I can change for the better. I must believe that I can change myself. Believe that I won't be that quiet and shy girl who seriously lacks of self-confidence. I can change myself. I wanna be reborn and start anew with a new personality too. 

I still need help though. :(

Konichiwashington.

Guess what. I've finally decided to sign up for Japanese and have already went to pay the fees for the Basic Japanese (BJ) 101. Hoots!

I'm supah excited to learn Japanese! Even though lessons will be held from 6-8 in the evening. It's okay, it's okay. Nothing beats learning about Japanese and Japan's culture, right? And I've having lots of fun using my newly-bought laptop. Hehehehehe. #feelingawesome 

Job, or not?

I'm gonna be jobless soon. The shop which I worked at for Thursday till Sunday has closed down. So now I've only had my Mondays till Wednesdays occupied till the end of March, which is when I'm going to quit. Originally, I plan to continue working as a part-timer but it seems to be impossible now, seeing as the main outlet has closed for good. Thus, I have to go job hunting for a new part-time job after school reopens. Sigh.
Just when I have already got the hang of making taiyaki and gotten really good at it. Whyyyyyyy? Now I have to start all over again and learn a new skill. It's not bad learning a new skill but... I'm lazy. :(










Lazybug, go away!

Just give me a reason

I'm getting lazier and lazier. I seriously wanna lose weight and those stubborn fats, but I'm so lazyyyyyy. I actually got really tired and breathless after running for 1km. But nowadays, I even too lazy to go and run, how am I ever gonna lose weight like this. GAH. 

Well, anyway, I'm gonna go to my school for the second time with my sister to do a colour vision test and purchase my very own laptop. I'm still pondering over which laptop I should get though. I've paid my school fees with the application of financial assistance. I can't afford to pay the full amount by myself, it's too much and my savings plus earnings aren't enough to cover it. Also, I've signed myself up for the freshman orientation camp although I'm still not sure whether I am able to make. If I could make it and go for it, I'm scared to go because I'm quite an anti-social person. :/ But, I'm also excited for the games and friends which hopefully I'll make some during the camp. 

Japanese or not? Should I or should I not? Sign up or sign up not? Dilemma dilemma dilemma.