I'm not a traitor or a betrayer. Even if I may seem like that because I changed my job but I'm definitely not capable of doing such things. I don't have the guts to do such things. Also, I didn't change my job for a higher pay. It's not that I didn't want them, they didn't want me. Yes, I may sound really pathetic and you will most possibly pity/sympathize me but it's much better than being accused of being a traitor. I hate it when people just accuse me without hearing the full story. And also people who assume/expect me to know a lot of things just because I've worked at the shop beside. I mean, hello, Japanese snacks and Western food are two totally different things. You can't just lump them together and compare them.
I am soft-spoken and shy, and sometimes I don't speak up for myself and I just keep it in. I know myself too well. My time alone was well spent pondering about my life, my personality, how others think of me, my weight and a lot of other random things. I want to change myself and I'm trying. If you don't see any progress, then please wait some more, I've only just started. I need courage to step out. I need lots of practice to familarise myself with new situations. I need time to change. I'm not super, I'm just Rou Shan, a super ordinary and normal girl.
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